Repression vs Letting Go

Repression vs. Letting go

Repression – the restraint, prevention, or inhibition of a feeling, quality, etc. (Wikipedia)

Letting go- Moving past what no longer serves you and living in the present moment

I have been told before that I have trouble “letting go,” and I’ll admit that I’ve lived in the past. When I was told I needed to let go, I did not let go. Instead, I learned to repress.

I have relived events inside my head and felt the same feelings of injustice, anger and hurt replay over and over again my brain. This is self-talk and anxiety.

Often times there are underlying and repressed thoughts/feelings within these “re-runs.” When we repress, we try to push these thoughts away. We try to not feel or think about them, which more than often forces us to think about them. The more we try to push away or not feel, the more we can’t escape that feeling. And when we repress, we judge these thoughts/feelings as “bad.”

“I shouldn’t be thinking that. I need to let this go.” ——This is the opposite of letting go. This is repression.

Should and should not are dangerous words. Every should thought is a judgement.

Instead of judging our thoughts as good or bad, it is more productive to simply observe them. Let the event play out. Let yourself feel. Let the emotion come to the surface. And if you’re angry, understand that usually underneath anger is sadness. Cry if you need to. Feel that emotion with all its intensity.

And then, observe.

Why does this come up for me? Why do I keep thinking about this?

For example, we remember something mean someone said to us. Why is this important? Do we doubt ourselves? What are you insecure about? What are you needing?

The only thing we get to control is ourselves, and we are each responsible for our own well-being. It is your job as an adult to take care of YOU.

You may desire something from someone, like love, approval, acceptance, an apology, etc. But know, you don’t get to control the actions of others. You can get what you want… but you may not get it from the person you want. You can’t demand from others, but you can make a request. And if you make a request, you might be pleasantly surprised. But, prepare yourself for the worst. You can’t control other people. Let go of what you think “should” happen.

Back to letting go…. You can only let go if you allow yourself to experience those emotions, and then you can move on. And, if you repress your feelings with drugs or food or whatever, you’re still repressing. You have to allow yourself to feel unpleasant emotions before you can let them go. I personally like walks in nature. Walk. Notice the trees, the wind, the grass…. Be completely there. Or, sit in front of a fan and listen to the noise and feel the wind on your face. Be here, right now.

Make your brain a safe place to be.